I'll never be good enough...

In my eyes, I know I'll never be good enough. Why, do you ask? I CAN NEVER IMPRESS MY SELF, NONE THE LESS MY FAMILY. I feel like a failure for giving up and not pursuing Bio, as my major. I can still hear and see my mom's disappointment.I will never be satisfied with my work until I KNOW MY PARENTS ARE SATISFIED. Once this begins,I'll know I'll see the quality of my own merit and recognize my accomplishments. Till that day comes, no matter how successful people see me, I'll always be a failure. If I took the other path, I know I'll be dissatisfied with myself and mostly agonizing. But none the less, I would be a little more aware of my merit. I would feel some sort of legitimacy to what I do. I love being a poli sci major and doing what I DO but I can never feel like I'll be ever be good enough. The road I chose to take has consequences. I'm gratified with pursuing what I'm passionate and interested about but I'm tortured with the lack of parental validation. I FEEL LIKE I CAN NEVER SATISFY MYSELF UNTIL I HEAR THE WORDS, "ANAK GOOD JOB, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU." I'm a tortured soul but none the less, I chose this path. I feel a degree of gratification from my self, but I do not feel the gratification that other feel from their parents and family. FOR THIS REASON, I'LL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH IN MY OWN EYES.

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